he's the one telling me to be patient...

A day or so has gone by since I've last had communication with him. I tried to get him to hate me through my texts because that way I know it would be over, he wouldn't want to "deal" with me. My last text was sent to him on Thursday, and I didn't hear from him until last night. He wanted to know what I was doing...I had my night planned out but continued to communicate with him. He said he wanted to see me, and that he was aware he waited too long to make plans. I did my things that I had to do that night, and what do you know...on the way to take Marlo to her dad's he CALLED me! I of course, being the person I am, gave it to him for actually calling me. We figured out a time for me to come over and snuggle. I'm always game for a cuddle session. We watched Harry & the Hendersons and had a good night. Nothing was spoken of dating. Nothing was spoken of anything other than the brief times of communication about school, life, or how old we're getting!

He's always telling me how I need to be patient, and at times people just need to eat their words. I'm not sure how I feel today about him. I told him what I always tell him...actions speak louder than words.

What I do know about today is that for some reason he's still here in my life, well at least he was last night. Today is a new day. I have this feeling about him, and it's not that "he's the one" but that he's in it to be an example for me. For some reason, beyond what I know or what he knows we were in each other's lives for this long. As much as I would like to think he's got the power in the decision making, I know I have my own...but ultimately it's God's will to see where our path takes us to.

Do I think we would be good together. Yes. He's not my "type" on the outside, but he's complete and whole on the inside, and that's far more important to me than whether he will attend an art show with me.

We'll see where this path leads us, and along the way so far one of us has stayed in contact with each other, and if we cease we'll always at least have our faith.

Stale Toast

You know how if you leave bread out of the refrigerator it will do one of two things get stale or mold. So, I guess if I'm the bread and my love life is the refrigerator I'm doomed to get stale or get moldy. I'm not sure if that's makes the sense I want it to, but oh well.

Today was a day! I guess when I ask someone to pray for me for patience and they come through with prayer I get mad because it's not patience I really want, but him to want to be with me. So there was a response with him trying to tell me to stop looking and wait to see what unfolds. I know a game player when I see one, and he's definetly it, so why am I so interested...I know better!

A guy I used to "date" attacked me accusing me of telling one of his ex's friends that we're dating. I don't know anyone that knows her. We're not dating and I don't see what the whole point is anyhow. Drama.

Tonight I was supposed to go on a date with a guy I met online. I was hoping that this newness would help me quit thinking about the stale, but he cancelled on me. I've been cancelled on three times in two months by three guys. My stubborness wants to not give up, but I have to fight the want with the obvious fact...3x a charm, and it's clearly not meant to be for me. Four years of lonliness. I've recently come to grips with being single for life, and it being me and Marlo then I had to go and think about this one person that's been in my life that I never saw in that light, and now I do.

He wants me to patient. I'm not patient in this area, I'm done.

Stood Up

Today's day unfolded with an early morning wake up of a Marlo talking away in the next room. Sunday's are our lazy day. Our goal of the day is to do nothing. This may be because of the cold weather outside, because I'm sure this goal will change once the weather breaks. We had breakfast this morning, colored, watched some tv and took a nap. After our nap it was time for me to get ready for a date. I've decided I'm ready to date again, even though the prospects look slim and the whole getting yourself amped for something that will most likely fade away in a day, a week or a month...like what happened with the last guy is a fact you have to face. I got showered, ready and was gearing up to leave but thought I would check my email just in case, and what to do you know...a cancellation! So now, I have to decide if this guy is worth possibly seeing again?? I'm not sure how I feel and am starting to feel cynical about the dating scene again already. Perhaps my cynism wouldn't be happening this early if this wasn't the bagillionth time I've tried the dating pool.
I decided I would have a date with God instead and go to church...but he hasn't been so helpful either (with some of my prayers), so I decided to take Marlo to dinner. We went to Papa Bears and had a wonderful, and expensive dinner just the two of us. We colored, and chatted...it was nice.